


But Ma, I've Got an Alien Living in My Spare Room

by Skyuni123



Category: Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do The Time Warp Again (2016)
Genre: Aliens, Bisexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Canon, Threesome, everyone is a little bit messed up and that's okay, lol this movie turned me up in all the right ways, one room comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-08-24 10:25:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8368765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: Brad and Janet Majors are unhappily married, living in a small house, and trying to get by.A blast from the past turns their world upside down.(Some comedy, some drama, but mostly how you deal with having a petulant alien as a housemate.)





	1. There's a Light in the Darkness

Janet Weiss becomes Janet Majors on a cool fall day at a small ceremony in Denton.

It’s the same church where everything began - that much is unavoidable - but her dress is pale yellow, not white, and they don’t invite the Hapschatts.

After everything she’s done, she doesn’t think she deserves to wear white.

 

Her cousin, Sally, catches the bouquet when she throws it. Sally is small, mouse-like, and boyfriendless. Perhaps it’s for the best.

 

When Brad drives them away from the church, away from the place that they’ve called home for so long - to a new town many miles away, she doesn’t know how to feel. Maybe it’s a chance for a new start. Maybe she deserves this.

 

Brad isn’t sullen, exactly. When they’d crawled away from the wreckage of the castle, away from the memories and the glitter, they’d clung to each other - desperate for another human’s touch. They were alive. They were human. They were still stuck to a spinning rock, travelling concentrica around the sun.

 

But, after being able to mull it over, things had… changed. It was gradual, at first. He was quieter than she’d ever seen him, with a solemn intensity that just didn't fit. He’d ‘perform his marital duty’ - because really, what was stopping them now - with all of the passion of a janitor after a hard day’s work. They were hardly talking. The marriage was for convenience's sake, because really, who else could they stand after that fateful night at the Castle? Who else had the shared memories of their time there?

 

Janet can’t exactly blame Brad for his bad moods, or his solemnity. 

The night at the Castle had awakened things within her, things that she couldn’t express for fear of punishment. She had violated her engagement bond in ways that she never thought possible, time after time.

 

And the worst thing was, she wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.

 

She didn’t deserve all of Brad’s bad temper, though. He had also succumbed to the power that was Doctor Frank-n-Furter. She was not all to blame.

 

“I’m happy that we left there, Brad.” She touches him gently on the arm.

 

They’re in the car, rain pelting down not unlike the day when they found themselves at the Castle.

 

“Yes.”

 

She wouldn’t call his responses ‘neanderthal-like’, but they would be reaching that point soon enough.

 

“Did you see that Sally caught my bouquet? I think she looked  _ lovely  _ in her gown. I hope she meets someone soon.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Brad, I think we should talk.”  Janet bites her lip as she says something that she’s been wanting to say for months. “About the Castle… about Frank.”

 

“No.” He says, his tone completely unwavering.

 

She looks at him, and although he is glaring entirely straightforward, squinting through the pouring rain, she can see his hands shaking on the wheel.

 

“We need to talk about it, Brad.”

 

“No.” He says, again, and this time, his voice is flat. It’s like he’s given up.

 

Janet leaves it. Just for now. She doesn’t think that she can press the issue when Brad sounds so defeated.

 

The drive to their new home continues in silence.

 

-

 

Janet starts to train to become a nurse, Brad takes up a job as a small-town reporter for their town’s equally as small newspaper. He mostly reports on cats stuck up trees and stolen handbags, but it’s a living.

 

Their home is quaint. The walls are pastel, mostly pale blue hues, but some green added in for variety. They have a range, a squat refrigerator, and a radio.

 

If they didn’t have their past misdeeds hanging over them, they’d be content. 

 

Janet has began to avert her eyes when she passes other women in the grocery store, as she cannot help but notice how their clothing falls off their shoulders, over the swell of their breasts, and around their hips as they walk.

 

Brad, however, has began to visit a certain favorite bar of his more often than he used to. He says that they serve the cheapest beer in the town, but the bartender does bear a certain resemblance to a blonde Creation from his past.

 

Their sex life is simple, clinical at best. 

 

She lets it happen, remembering what that one, passion-filled night was like with Dr Frank-n-Furter, how the other woman balanced pleasure and pain perfectly, and how she was left feeling fulfilled.

 

He makes it happen, remembering what it was like when he wasn’t the one in control, when he could relax and let someone else take charge. He remembers what it was like to feel properly  _ wanted. _

 

-

 

One Friday afternoon, about four, there is a knock on the door.

 

“I’ll get it,” says Janet, as she’s already standing, midway through stirring cake batter in a bowl.

 

“Mhmmm.” Brad mumbles, from the corner, immersed in a book called  _ Exploring the Moon: What Could Be _ .

 

She expects it to be the newspaper.

 

What she doesn’t expect is a particularly wet-looking Transylvanian, clad all in lurid orange.

 

“Oh.” Janet says, because this Transylvanian is supposed to be dead.

 

“Did you miss me, baby?” Dr Frank-n-Furter says, and collapses on the stoop in a dead faint.

 

Oh, indeed. 


	2. The Devil Went Down to Georgia in a Pair of High-Heeled Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a conversation.

“What is  _ it  _ doing here?” Brad asks, arms very firmly folded.

 

Janet has managed, without any help (the Transylvanian is lighter than she looks), to carry Frank inside and place her on a chair. “ _ She  _ collapsed on our stoop.” She says, ignoring the way that Brad had referred to the other woman, “And I thought that  _ she  _ needed some help.”

 

“It’s from outer space, remember?”

 

“She is from outer space, yes, but there’s no need to be rude.” Janet looks at him, consideringly. “Would you like it if I called  _ you  _ an ‘it’?” 

 

“Fine. She.” Brad stomps through to their kitchen and returns with a bundle of twine. “I’m tying her up.”

 

“Why?” Janet pulls another chair from their (rarely-used) dining table. She takes a seat, and places her palms on her lap. Although she hopes she looks fairly unconcerned on the outside, her heart is thrumming a beat into her soul. Frank is…  _ back.  _ Back from the  _ dead.  _ She found them, miles away from Denton, from the castle, from everything that once was. 

 

“She could kill us.”

 

“Do you think she passed out on our stoop to  _ kill  _ us, Brad?” Janet isn’t entirely sure about Brad’s attitude. After the… incident… he had regressed. It had been like he was trying to block everything out. “While I admit that some of the things that she did to us weren’t… wonderful… she didn’t really openly try to kill us. She was shot doing what she  _ loved.”  _

 

“You are being oddly defensive of the  _ alien  _ in the room.” Brad finishes tying Frank’s wrists behind her, and leans against the wall to her side.

 

“I just think everyone deserves a fair chance.”

 

“That’s a naive view.” Brad sneers. He seems far more angry than the situation warrants. Janet  _ knows  _ what Brad did, what they both did at the castle that night, and she doesn’t understand why he’s so angry. He was always the defensive one, the one who had to know exactly what was right and wrong, and she wonders if this grey area is confusing to him.

 

“Don’t you  _ dare.”  _ Janet says, “I’m not that child from Denton any more. Neither of us are. We’ve seen too much to ignore this. She came to us. After everything that’s happened, after all that we’ve done, she -”

 

“Trouble in paradise?” Frank asks, eyes glittering, not unlike a wolf stalking its prey from the shadows. Her lips curve into a smile, “Brad. Janet. How I’ve missed you.”

 

“You’ve missed us?” Brad is shaking now, a finger held out to point at the woman, “You nearly killed us!”

 

“Careful, honey,” Frank draws her gaze up to his face slowly, “I bite.”

 

Brad withdraws his hand very hurriedly.

 

Janet remembers, very violently, that Frank does indeed bite. She shivers. It’s not entirely because of the present situation. “What are you doing here, Frank?”

 

“After a couple of months of resurrecting myself I wanted to see a friendly face.” Frank says, very matter-of-factly. She looks at her nails, apparently only just noticing the ropes. “Ropes? Kinky. Do you always play with ropes, Janet?”

 

Janet blushes. She can’t help it. It’s become a reflex. Every time she thinks about …what happened… at the castle that night, she gets hot under the collar. “N-no.” She stammers, “We just thought it was a good idea.”

 

“A good idea?” Frank almost looks offended. She pouts, “I would never hurt you. Either of you.”

 

“See - that’s where you’re  _ wrong!”  _ Brad yelps, “You tried to kill us. We would have died if it wasn’t for the Professor.”

 

“Oh, don’t talk to me about Professor Von Scott.” Frank hisses, “He and his kind would have murdered my entire planet if given the chance.”

 

“He wouldn’t have. He’s a  _ scientist.” _

 

“A scientist who wants to ensure the continued existence of his species by wiping every threat to it off the map. I know his type,  _ Brad.”  _

 

Brad stops. “...Are you a threat?”

 

Frank refuses to answer the question, “Brad. Still so forceful. I guess that’s one thing that hasn’t changed.” She sighs and stretches languidly, like a cat. “Janet, would you let me out of these ropes? I’m not usually the one who is tied up.”

 

Janet is at one of Frank’s arms, untying the rope, before she even realises how she got there. 

 

“Janet!” Brad gasps.

 

“Brad?” She tries to explain through a glance, but it doesn’t really work. She sighs, “Look, she would have killed us already if she was going to. We can’t just leave her tied up forever.”

 

After a moment, he huffs, “Fine.” He retreats back to the corner of the room and folds his arms.

 

Janet finishes untying the woman’s arms. She sits back on her heels. “There.” 

She tries a smile, but somehow, this intrusion on what had originally been a fine, although slightly-angry, household, isn’t going so well.

 

“Thank you.” Frank, arms now free, smoothes a hand over Janet’s head. 

She  _ hates  _ how she leans into the touch.

 

Frank stands and says, “Well now we’ve got that unpleasant business over with, I need your help.”

 

Oh, hell. 


	3. It Started Out With a Kiss - How Did it End Up Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation.

In the kitchen, Brad says, “We should call the authorities.”

 

“And tell them what, Brad?” Janet sighs, “‘Sorry officer, but the alien who seduced the pair of us once upon a time has taken up residence in our living room?’ Somehow, I don’t think that would go down too well.”

 

They both look through the door into the living room, where Frank is paging through a newspaper, utterly unconcerned. 

 

“You know I can hear you two, don’t you?” She says.

 

Janet shrugs at Brad. At this point, she is completely done with his attitude. Yes, she’s had problems with Frank, but she’s not going to leave someone who needs help, however alien they are, with nowhere to turn. Bad things have happened in her past and she’s not going to let them happen again if she can help it. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologise.” Frank turns another page. “Can I use your shower?”

 

“What?”

 

“Two months lying in the ground regrowing parts of my body? Honey, I have dirt in places you’ve never heard of.”

 

“Ah. R-right.” Janet stammers, “I’ll show you where it is.”

 

Frank follows her dutifully as she leads her through the house. Her heels click on the floor as she walks.

 

“How did you… find… all of that clothing?” Janet asks, “It was a while ago, but I think I’d remember if you were wearing a full-length gown back then.”

 

Frank preens, “Why, thank you for noticing, Janet. I liberated it. My wardrobe went up with the castle, but someone in your town has a good sense of fashion.”

 

“You’ll have to return it.” Janet says, very firmly. She will not be shocked by the turn of events. 

 

Pouting, Frank says, “Boring.” She smooths a hand over the very-loud, very luxurious-looking gown. “Do I  _ have  _ to?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ugh.” Frank says, petulantly.

 

“That’s the bathroom.” Janet practically shoves her in, “There’s towels in the cupboard. Don’t get mud everywhere.”

 

Frank bats her eyes at her in a way that she supposes is supposed to convey that butter wouldn’t melt. She fiddles with the ties on her dress.

Janet is not having it. “Go on.”

 

“Fine.” Frank huffs, pouts again, and steps straight out of the dress.

She’s not wearing anything underneath.

 

Janet can’t help but gasp. Although she’s… done things… with the other woman before, nothing can really prepare her for such a sight. 

It’s not surprising that Frank was surrounded by so many groupies when she met her. She’s charismatic, seductive, and a stunner to boot. Her mouth starts watering and she hates herself for it. 

She averts her eyes before she does something she might regret, “Do you… mind?”

 

“I don’t mind at all.” Frank says, sounding smug. “Why don’t you join me,  _ Janet?” _

 

Janet backs away from the room as she feels her resolve crumbling. “No. No. No no no no no no. No.” She points a finger, eyes still averted, “I’m not doing this again.” She shuts the bathroom door in the the face of the ravenous Transylvanian. 

 

“Your loss!” Frank shouts through the door.

 

As much as she doesn’t want to, Janet  _ almost  _ agrees.

 

-

 

Back in the living room, Brad has returned to his book. 

She can tell, however, that he’s not as composed as he looks. She’s known him long enough - ever since high school - that she knows when something is wrong.

That, and the fact that he’s tapping one of his feet restlessly.

 

“What…” She sighs and sits down opposite him.

 

“I’m not happy with this.”

 

“I know.”

 

Brad places a bookmark in his book and puts it on his lap carefully. “What if she snaps again? What if she does what she did to Eddie to us, Janet? She’s not sane. She’s not some sort of lost dog that you can make better. She’s an  _ alien.”  _

 

“I can’t argue with you about Eddie.” She says, slowly. “But she’s not a terrible person. Not completely.”

 

“If she stays here she could make us do… what we did before. We’re married now, Janet. It’d be  _ wrong.”  _ He looks at her, almost pitifully, and she realises why he’s so opposed to the Transylvanian being in their home. He’s scared. She doesn’t know why, but he’s scared.

 

“You and I both know that she didn’t make either of us do anything we didn’t want to do.” She says gently. She takes his hands in hers. “She’ll respect that we’re married. She wants us to help her. She’ll do as we ask.” 

 

“Fine, Janet.” Brad doesn’t look that convinced, but he smiles weakly at her anyway. “I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

 

She squeezes his hands, “I love you too. Whatever happens, you’re still that Brad I fell in love with in high school. Don’t worry.”

 

She kisses him then, just a quick press of lips, nothing fancy. It’s to reassure him, if anything. “It’ll be fine.”

 

She wishes that she could believe it.


	4. Do You Walk in the Valley of Kings?

The dress Janet sets out for the marauding alien is wholeheartedly simple, white, and the complete antithesis of anything she knows she likes.

 

It’s  _ almost  _ an accident. 

She might be feeling a little bit fragile, but she’s not going to admit that out loud.

 

The dress had been abruptly discarded by one of her cousins, Susan, when she had left after a visit to their house. Janet wouldn’t ever forget the face that Susan had made before she had called a cab, three days ahead of schedule. “You’re wrong.” She had said, with a horrified look on her face, “You used to be so nice.”

Was it that obvious? Brad and Janet had been the absolute picture of civility when Susan had arrived, but yet, somehow, the younger woman had  _ known. _

 

Janet had been ashamed then and was still ashamed now.

Was that what they had become? The talk of the town? Was she suddenly some sort of harpy to be shunned because of one night in a castle so many days ago?

 

She settles back down in the lounge with a paper, focussing hard to stop the words blurring together. She doesn’t even realise she’s read the same sentence three times until Brad clears his throat. “So is...she… staying the night… or?”

 

“Yes, Brad, I’d presume so.”Janet says tightly, pursing her lips. “If she wants to.”

 

“Where is she going to sleep then?” He retorts.

 

They don’t have a guest room anymore, having converted it into a junk space after the disaster with Susan (and subsequent other guest refusals). 

 

“Do Transylvanians even sleep?” She asks, genuinely curious. 

 

“All creatures have a rest period, Janet. Proper sleep is what keeps creatures sane.” Brad explains dryly, turning another page.

 

“Sanity.” Janet says. “Huh.”

 

They wait together, in silence.

(The couch  _ is  _ set up with a couple of blankets and some pillows, because they aren’t savages.)

  
  


Dinner follows a very similar pattern. They share food (a simple chicken casserole that congeals ungainly on the plate from the silence), and everything is very,  _ very  _ quiet.

 

Janet sits opposite Frank at the table and tries very hard to keep her gaze down at her plate. She can’t let herself meet the other woman’s eye and that’s only partially because of embarrassment. She picks at her food and doesn’t feel very well.

 

Frank, however, chows down her food in a manner of seconds like she hasn’t eaten for a long time. She looks between them and says, “Reincarnation isn’t easy. It takes  _ a lot _ of energy. Come on.”

 

Janet  _ knows  _ that Brad wants to ask her about how she survived. Janet  _ knows  _ that the alien culture that Frank comes from interests him. He’d been studying enough in that field when they had been at Denton High together, and she knows he finds Frank curious. 

 

However, he doesn’t say anything. Clearly Frank’s appearance in their house troubles them.

 

Frank’s appearance in a dress troubles  _ Janet  _ as well, but for quite another reason.

 

At the end of the meal, Frank claps her hands and exclaims, “So! What do humans do for entertainment in the evenings?! I’m a big fan of the 30 person orgy thing, but your house is a little bit small.”

 

Brad glares at Janet with an expression that she can’t quite place. If she could, it’d probably be something like:  _ this is going to be a long night.  _

  
  
  


Frank advocates heavily for the orgy thing but they settle on television instead.

  
  



	5. Some Days I Can't Even Trust Myself

 

Quite unfortunately, the only thing on is a late night slasher fic entitled, “The Giant Woman from Space”, which, conveniently enough, is about a Giant Woman from Space. The Giant Woman is unfairly persecuted by the humans on the ground and ends up walking into the sea to live with the Giant Woman in the Sea. The screen fades to black just before they are leaning in to kiss.

 

Janet can  _ feel  _ Brad gritting his teeth from next to her.

 

“Well, that’s quite enough of that!” She says, brightly, standing up to turn the television off.  “I think, after the day we’ve all had, that we should all get to bed!”

 

Frank is uncharacteristically quiet as they retire to their room, and Janet supposes it is for the best. 

 

Hindsight is a cruel, cruel mistress.

 

 

Janet doesn’t know how long she lies there, head pressed flat against the cold sheets. Brad is turned away from her, snoring softly. She doesn’t know what to think. They were just finally getting back to normal, becoming what they once were, but Frank had to come in and ruin their peace. They could have been a normal couple again. She could walk down the street and not feel ashamed again.

 

Blast! Why does she get herself into these situations?

 

But Frank…

 

Despite Brad’s cool attitude towards her, Janet is happy to see Frank alive. They’d spent such a short time together, but somehow, Janet had felt the loss in a way that belied far more time. It had felt real, even though she’d known Frank for mere hours. 

 

The woman is just so… beautiful. She doesn’t even know if beautiful is the right word. Erotic. Enthralling. A promise of things she’s never explored and can’t even name. The wanting makes her insides ache and she hardly knows why. Her hands wander over her body as she’s thinking, trying to recall some of what she had felt that faithful day.

 

It is then that a scream pierces through the night air.

It’s probably for the best.

She’s on her feet before she even really realises, and rushes out to the living room, where Frank is twisting and wrenching about horribly on the couch. She looks like she’s having a nightmare, but it’s the most violent one that Janet’s ever seen.

 

She grabs onto Frank’s arm to try and wake her and is promptly socked in the face with a flailing hand. Blinking stars out of her vision, she doubles her efforts to wake the alien. Her face hurts more than she’ll ever admit, but she does succeed in stifling Frank’s movements.

She doesn’t want to wake Brad. This would just be another thing to add to his growing list of “Why the Alien Shouldn’t Stay in their Home” and she didn’t want to lose Frank. Not again.

 

“Dammit.” Frank slurs under her breath, and opens her eyes. They glint in the dark, seductive and conniving, like a cat’s. “ _ That  _ was uncalled for.”

 

“What?”

 

“Not you.” Frank waves a hand in the general direction of her head. “In there. Ghosts. Residual ‘coming back from the dead’ stuff. Not to worry.” 

 

“Is there anything I can do?” Janet offers, because despite everything, there’s something in her that still wants to be the nice little dutiful housewife from Denton. “I could get you a glass of water or something?” 

 

Frank eyes her, gaze resplendent in the grey dark. She chortles, “Got anything stronger?”

 

“Wha-”

 

“ _ Honestly, _ Janet.” She says, still chortling. “I spend a day or two with you and Brad and you’re still so stuck in your ways? After the shit I put you through there’s no reason  _ at all  _ you should have let me stay here. Any normal human wouldn’t have.”

 

“Maybe I just have a heart for hopeless cases.” Janet says. Very firmly. She purses her lips. She’s been finding that she’s been doing that a lot lately.

 

“Or maybe you’re just a pushover.” Frank suggests, without a hint of shame. She shrugs. “You shouldn’t have even let me into your home.  _ Brad  _ was reluctant, and even he let you take charge. You’re as bad as each other.”

 

Janet realises what she’s trying to do and wonders how she hadn’t seen it from the start. “You’re trying to antagonise me.”

 

Frank shrugs again. “So what if I am? You’re living a life that’s a lie.”

 

“I’m not!” Janet insists. She’s not. She can’t be.

 

“I’ve only been here for a few hours and even I can see that neither of you are happy. Do you know that Brad’s been thinking about  _ men,  _ Janet? Does that tickle your fancy?” Frank sneers, her gaze hard as granite.

 

“And so what if he has been?” Janet replies, take-aback but not surprised. At this point, she can hardly throw stones. Frank’s words have an air of truth to them, but she’s not going to admit  _ that _ out loud.

 

“You’re not happy.” Frank repeats, with a yawn. “You can’t live life like this. Be a good little housewife with your model husband and your model house; or actually be interesting for once. You might be surprised.”

 

And with that, she rolls over and seems to fall back asleep.

 

Janet sits back onto her heels. 

Consequences be damned. This calls for a drink.

 


	6. Let Us Hold Each Other

  
  


There’s whiskey in the kitchen and it burns ungainly as it goes down.

_ God,  _ what has she become? 

 

There’s no wonder that people look at her family and notice something wrong. 

 

Janet goes to bed and tries to sleep but the alcohol rests heavy and uncomfortable in her stomach and when she wakes the next morning she feels less rested than the night before. 

 

She heads off to the hospital, not really wanting to leave Frank alone in her house, but also not wanting to spend the day there. It’s too small with Frank around.

 

One of her colleagues, Ann, must notice the thundercloud that hangs over her head all day, because she asks, “You feeling alright, honey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

 

_ Oh, if it was only a ghost. _

 

She smiles, and waves it off, because she feels like she must. 

The day seems  _ very  _ long.

  
  


An eerie silence greets her when she gets home, a bit after six. 

 

The house is  _ silent.  _ Unnaturally so. She really hopes that Frank hasn’t murdered Brad and cannibalised him or something. That’s something she didn’t have to worry about a few months ago. 

 

The sight she gets when she walks into the tv room is certainly something. Brad and Frank are cuddled up together on the couch, dozing, and neither have much clothing on. She would be angry, would be betrayed, but there’s just something so  _ perplexing  _ about it.

 

“What. Is going on?” She asks, letting a little bit of her discomfort play into her tone. This is  _ weird. _

 

Not ‘alien making a human out of chemicals and marrying him’ weird, but it’s close.

 

“Janet!” Brad yelps, waking almost immediately. “It’s not what it looks like!”

 

He scrambles out of Frank’s arms and sleepily falls flat on his face, but Janet doesn’t move to help him. Whatever excuse he’s got doesn’t warrant it.

 

Janet politely adverts her eyes. While she’s seen it all before, she doesn’t think it’s proper to look. “Go and put some clothes on, Brad.” She sighs.

 

He rushes out of the room, basically stark naked and refuses to meet her eyes.

 

She locks her eyes onto Frank’s face and refuses to let them move any further southwards. “You’ve ruined my life already, do you mind explaining why you want to ruin my marriage as well?”

 

Frank blinks sleepily at her and refuses to answer.

 

She throws up her hands. “I get it. You’re some weird kind of sex alien thing, but you could have chosen anyone else to come back to. Why us? Why  _ me?” _

 

“Because you’re special, darling.”

 

“Don’t give me that.’

 

“You humans and your quaint little sexualities. Do you think I just  _ turned  _ you someone who likes women? Do you think Rocky bewitched Brad into liking men? It’s been in you from when you were born. That’s not a bad thing.”

 

She doesn’t want to think about that. She doesn’t have time. “Still doesn’t explain why you were cuddling with my husband.”

 

Frank rolls her eyes at that. “Energy transfer.”

 

Janet laughs. It’s bitter and ugly. “Really.”

 

“I’m not lying. I’m recovering from death. Trying to get back on my feet. Energy transfers do that. I can only get them from people.” 

 

“You’re saying you’re like a car, then? Just topping up?”

 

Frank shifts, and for the first time she seems vaguely uncomfortable. “In a manner of speaking.” 

“Not good enough. Tell me why you’re here, or you’re out the door.” Janet demands. Is this what forceful is? Is this what she’s become? She’s hot under the collar and she doesn’t think it’s just from the irritation.

 

Frank huffs, and sits up. She covers herself up with a blanket and Janet suddenly finds it a little easier to focus. “Sit down. Your irritation is making me tired.”

 

She sits, and doesn’t really know why. She’s still angry, but it’s humming under her skin. She can deal with this.

 

“So. I’m a ‘weird alien sex thing’. You know that.” Frank begins, “But it’s not just about the sex. Sex is  _ great,  _ most people know that, it’s fascinating, and you humans love it.  _ We  _ don’t just use it for pleasure, though.”

 

Janet has a feeling that ‘we’ doesn’t just mean ‘strange people that live in castles in forests’. “We?”

 

“Transylvanians. Sex is not just our pleasure, it’s our life force.”

 

“So you’re like… a vampire then. But without the blood.” Janet says, slowly, not really sure if she should be believing anything the other woman says.

 

“Vampires are passe, Janet. You’re close enough, though.” Frank huffs, looking exasperated. “Point is, this is what I do. It’s survival. Why do you think I have orgies all the time? Honestly.” 

 

“Why did you come to find us, though?”  She interrupts her musing, lest it turns into something far more untoward. “Surely you have… cronies… or whatever aliens have.” 

 

“Like I said. I was dead. Coming back to life is hard and I don’t have many friends right now.” Frank shifts uncomfortably, but Janet isn’t sure how much of it is genuine. “Needed energy. Needed somewhere to heal.”

 

“So you came here.”

 

“Well, where else would I go? I don’t know if you’ve looked out your window lately, but this neck of the woods isn’t exactly the pinnacle of tolerance towards… peculiar… attitudes.”

 

“You can say that again.” Janet huffs, annoyed at how believable it all sounds. She doesn’t want to believe Frank, doesn’t want to pardon her behaviour, but it’s got a ring of truth. 

 

She doesn’t like it. 

 

“I didn’t want to die. Not again.” 

 

And she’s damned, but the Transylvanian’s words hit low and heavy in her stomach and it  _ hurts.  _ This is awful. She doesn’t like this, but she doesn’t think she can argue any more.

 

Janet supposes she's giving up. 


	7. i've become so numb

After months of waiting, it’s not bad.

After months of waiting, it’s  _ definitively  _ not bad. 

 

It’s good, if anything, but the regret she feels immediately after makes up for any pleasure she felt during  _ it. _

 

What has she become?

  
  


Frank lies drowsy, in the bed, with a smile on her lips. There’s something so catlike about it: her smile hints of secrets and mysteries untold. She's rich with deception, through and through, and yet, Janet cannot resist.

  
What has she done?

  
  
  


She returns to the living room. Brad is sitting on their couch - half asleep, half numb, she supposes - and wearing only a pair of trousers. With her in what’s left of her tattered work uniform, they make quite a pair.

 

They sit together, unspeaking, on the couch, and wait for the grey light of dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short chapter fellas, but this sort of thing had to happen so we could progress the story past it.
> 
> love yall


	8. take big steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reconciliations

The cheery dawn chorus outside doesn’t do anything to calm Janet’s sour mood. Adultery wasn’t even a word that was  _ spoken  _ in her household before this ...business… with Frank, and now?

 

They’ve committed two acts in one night.

 

Perhaps Frank is right. Perhaps they’re not meant to box themselves in. It’s certainly not been working so far. 

 

Growing up in a Southern Baptist household, Janet had always been taught that marriage was  _ permanent.  _ No fluctuating, no accidents. A woman would always respect her husband and submit herself graciously to his leadership. There would be no thought of ‘straying away’, no thinking of other men (or even women) in a light that was anything more than platonic. (Aliens were, surprisingly, never even mentioned.)

 

She’s sure that her mother would be more than ashamed to learn of her dalliances with Rocky, and even worse, Frank herself. But no matter now. Janet’s going to hell already, shouldn’t she at least make an effort to cushion the way there?

 

“Brad, we should talk about this.” She turns to face him, and notices that he’s still wide-awake, despite the stillness of his position.

 

“What do we have to talk about?” He was raised in a religious household too. Though not as strict with their restrictions on men, like their ones with women, she’s sure he’s feeling the ghosts of his past eating away at him. Besides, as a man of science, he’s probably got qualms with the ‘sleeping with an alien’ sort of thing.

 

“Not talking about it isn’t going to help.” 

 

“I’m not so sure about that.”

 

Damn. She needs him to understand. Their lives have been irrevocably changed by Frank, and there’s no going back. Everything they’ve done has happened now, and they can’t change that. 

 

She gently grips onto his hands, which are folded in his lap. They’re cool to the touch, and she’s sure he wants to pull away.

 

When had they last touched intimately? 

 

“We’ve done some things, Brad, and I’m sure we’re going to do some more. If we talk about them, then we can’t get mad at each other.” She rubs her thumbs over the skin of his knuckles, trying to keep calm. They can’t keep skirting around each other. They  _ need  _ to have this discussion.

 

“I know.”

 

He knows? Then  _ why  _ isn’t he talking? 

 

Brad hunches over and heaves a heavy sigh, like what he’s about to say is going to cause him a lot of pain. He gently shifts her hands off his and back to her own lap.

 

“You know I love you very much, don’t you, Janet?”

 

“Of course, Brad.” There’s no hesitation in her voice. She knows he loves her, knows it without a doubt. What’s he getting at?

 

“And that I desire you, fully?”

 

“...Yes…?” This conversation is... _ straying.  _ “Go on.” 

 

He heaves another sigh. 

 

“You’re not the only one.” He pauses. “...And it’s not just women.”

 

“Oh, Brad.” She rubs him on the back, soothingly. It’s obviously taken him a lot to tell her, but if she’s honest, she thought it would be something far worse. 

 

She’s come to terms with the fact that she finds women attractive as well as men. It really seems to pale in comparison to the fact that aliens are real, they’re living among us, and they’re holding well-dressed orgies in castles. 

 

“I completely understand.”

 

“You do?” He looks up at her, and she’d swear, if he wasn’t the pinnacle of American science-man masculinity, he’d be on the verge of tears.

 

“Yes. I.. feel the same.” 

 

“Oh.” All of the stress seems to drain out of him at her admission. “What do we do now?”

 

“I still love you.” That one’s not even an option.

 

“And I still love you too…” He frowns, “But what do we do with her?” He gestures towards the other room with a flick of his head. 

 

“We’re the only friends she’s got.” 

 

His frown deepens. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

 

She strokes a hand over his back and pulls him into her embrace. “‘I’m saying that we don’t have to fit into a box. We can be JanetandBrad, but we don’t have to be exclusive about it. The world’s too big for that. I’m never going to stop loving you, but we don’t have to ignore our other desires because society doesn’t like it.”

 

Brad stares down at his hands, pensive. He twists his wedding ring around one finger. “You’re beginning to sound like  _ her.”  _

 

“She’s got a point.” 

 

“Maybe.” He hisses through his teeth and grips his arms around her. He sighs, again, and this time it sounds like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

 

She doesn’t want to lose him either. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i did some adhoc character building. sue me :P


	9. the end

 

Dawn breaks. The nightmarish evening is over.

 

Janet goes to work, Brad gets called in to report on a house fire in the city. 

 

Frank sleeps on. 

  
  


When both of the humans return in the evening, they are shocked to find lights on in the house and an… interesting… smell wafting from it.

 

“We might have a truce,” Brad says, “but if she’s invited any of the other frea-”

 

Janet interrupts him by placing a hand on his arm, “-people.”

 

“People.’ Brad corrects himself, looking uneasy, “If Frank’s invited any of those other  _ people  _ back to our house, we’re going to have a problem.”

 

“I’m sure she wouldn’t have.”

 

The silence he gives her is answer enough.

  
  


Frank, to their absolute surprise, is cooking something in the kitchen. She’s dressed in a lurid orange floral apron with very little underneath.

 

“Frank.” Janet says. “What are you doing.” It’s not a question.

 

“Making dinner, baby, what do you think?” 

 

Behind her, Janet can feel Brad bristle at the ‘baby’, but she doesn’t acknowledge it. “I see that.” She says, calmly, refusing to let any of her past indiscretions cloud her words. “But why?”

 

Frank switches off the gas element with some aplomb and turns to face them. “I know I have been… uncomfortable… to be around for the last little while. I can’t help that. It’s in my nature. But...I wanted to thank you for letting me live here.”

 

Her tone is so brutally honest that it’s a shock to the system. Janet’s not heard anything so frank (and conveniently, so  _ Frank _ ) from her since the moment just before she died in the castle so many months ago. “It’s our pleasure.”

 

“Something like that.”  Brad mutters into her neck. At any other time, she’d probably melt into the feeling of it, let it wash over her, but now’s not the time.

 

She thrusts her elbow back blindly and manages to get him in the ribs. They have a  _ truce.  _ They’re going to  _ work this out.  _ “We want to work this out. Tell us how to do that.”

 

“You humans and your little categories…” Frank mutters under her breath. She clears her throat and coughs politely. “A giant orgy, perhaps?”

 

Janet’s glare is answer enough.

 

“That works on Transylvania.” Frank shrugs. “What do you want to work out?”

 

“We want to work out  _ you. _ ” Brad speaks up for the first time and then begins to stammer once he’s realised what he just said. “I-I mean that we want to work out  _ on  _ you - uh,  _ WITH YOU.  _ With you.”

 

That could have gone better.

 

“You live here.” Brad continues, awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other. “Janet and I have discussed it and we both have… uh…  _ feelings…  _ for you.” 

 

“By feelings you mean that you want me to fuck you into your bed, right?” Frank replies, and blinks innocently at him. 

 

Brad’s standing so close behind her that Janet can hear him gulp. He says sheepishly, after a slight pause, “That’s not quite the way I would phrase it but-”

 

“Wonderful.” Frank puts the pot she’s holding down onto the stove and turns back to them, grinning like butter wouldn’t melt. “Should we go and do something about that, then?” There’s a hint of mirth in her catlike eyes, but it’s obvious that she’s serious. Somewhere, along this strange and unearthly journey that they’ve had together, she’s began to  _ care  _ for them.

 

Right now, Janet wouldn’t say no to anything Frank says. Just being around the woman again has made her flustered, made her  _ remember.  _ If only she, Brad, and Frank could enjoy themselves  _ together,  _ it’d all be alright. But Brad won’t agree. Brad would never agree.

 

“Yes.” Brad agrees.

 

Janet blinks.

 

“But only if Janet comes too.” He continues, moving to stand next to her and gripping her left hand tightly in his. Brad and Janet, against the world. About time too.

 

“Baby, how could I ever say no to that?” With one last longing look, Frank pads off towards the bedroom, stripping as she goes. 

 

She certainly knows how to make an exit.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Janet whispers, squeezing Brad’s hand in hers.

 

He squeezes hers back and locks eyes with her. “Are you?”

 

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” She sighs. “I’m never going to stop loving you, Brad, but I just feel like…”

 

“...there could be other things to explore?”

 

“Yes.” That was him, her explorer, always wanting to find a logical explanation for things. She felt the desire, the passion, the heat rushing through her veins… but sometimes, he needed to let himself go and feel that to. “Yes, Brad.”

 

“Well, that’s settled then.” He shrugs his bad mood off like it was nothing and pulls her towards the bedroom, thumb rubbing gently against the back of her hand. “Don’t be afraid to give yourself over to pleasure, huh?”

 

Janet snorts.

 

Somehow it seems like things are going to turn out alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> Many thanks to yall for reading and putting up with my uneven upload times. love ya!

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on the [tumbs](http://villainousfilmmaker.tumblr.com)  
> or the [twits](http://twitter.com/skyuni123)


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